If you would like to contact me, you can find my coffin buried on the southern banks of the River Thames; you can slide letters in through the crack in the lid.

Love letters and poems should be tossed into a fire whose smoke extends in my direction.

Any legal matters you can take to the coastline and speak to the sea about it - it'll be more interested in what you have to say.

In an emergency, you can find me in bed with your mother.